Since I got a rude awakening of
depression three years ago after my diagnosis, I have noticed a fallacy amongst
many. I call it rude because neither had I educated myself on this matter
despite of it happening under my nose nor thought it would ever get to me.
Then, boom! I was knocked off my feet.
I got sensitive soon after,
expected, right? I listen to conversations surrounding mental illnesses with
precision. I take keen interest in words and the subtle absurd assumptions and
conclusion mainly from people who give uninformed opinions. I am saying this
with so much authority because I was there. The kind of talk that makes most
mental illness patients stay under the radar. Those capable of functioning without
restraints and institutionalization stay in the closet to fit in the society.
Those in need of medication pop them in the dead of night and play a cat and
mouse game with friends when refilling their prescription. Others just can’t
stand the hiding game and stop their treatment prematurely.
The stigma isn’t confined in those
without the experience, those who have ever experienced a mental illness vindictively
point at those in their lowest moment, forgetting their journey or the fact
that they are at a high propensity of falling into the situation. I have lost
touch with a few friends who could not bear the burden of being labeled
‘insane.’ As soon as they had it together, they bid me goodbye, hid the
“shameful” memory of their experience in their brain and intentionally forget
the combination. Simply put ‘kuzikwa kwenye kaburi la sahau.’ Inspite of this
decision, some end up flipping back and having an extremely unstable mental
state that was avoidable.
On common feedback is the victims
are asked to snap out of it. This to me is the most insensitive comment ever.
Yah, I know you don’t get it, you assume it is all in the victims’ hands or
head. Quick question for you; why don’t you normally pose the same question to
your brother hit by a bout of relentless malaria or you hypertensive grand mum?
This is it people, this is a real deal, a real ailment that calls for medical
attention. By the time someone is consumed to the point where sanity eludes
them, trust me, they have been to the lowest and seen the darkest days life has
to offer.
Think of it this way; there are
varied kinds of swimmers response when they get overwhelmed by the waters and see
the possibility of drowning. Some are able to be calm and can easily be salvaged;
actually, they mostly float back with little to no help. Naturally, our weights
can be contained when we relax in water no matter the depth of the water body
and the skill of the swimmer. Others panic uncontrollably and down they go.
Think of mental illnesses in the same breadth, some people can get up their
feet sooner than others due to genetic make-up and other factors while others
need more help.
Has it ever crossed your mind that
your suicidal sibling is not selfish? They might have had a less tough life in
your judgment but they are unstable. Sure, they fear that your mother is going
to be astounded with grief due to their demise, their children will have to
grow without their parent. Trust me, it breaks their heart unfathomably but
they are at the end of the rope, unable to function in the normal spectrum.
These are people who feel helpless and hopeless even with so much in their
disposal
With technology, the world is like a
village now. With a touch of a button, one is able to access information of an
event happening miles away and even attend online. This has connected us in one
level and ripped us apart in another. We don’t hold deep conversations any more;
instead, we are constantly checking the stream of information on our news feed.
The videos, the images, the intriguing texts all inform us and stab us in the
chest, especially when we see successful stories that seem out of reach for us.
Families should improve the off gadget times and hold real conversations that
can unearth overwhelming situations. Let’s bring the outdoor back, get to the
world and experience. We no longer need to mask our true feelings to impress
the people we don’t know, some we don’t even like. Let’s be real, get off our
high horses and relate better. Expression of emotion is not a show of weakness,
rather, it is strength. Let’s encourage true and real conversations
So, you ask me how you can come through.
Please be patient with them. They are totally not in control; in bi polar
disorder cases for example, you encounter two people trapped in one. They
aren’t lazy neither are they loud, they are sick in need of hormones to balance
the episodes or therapy or both. It mostly takes longer for some people to get
the right combination. Let’s not be quick in writing each other off, actually
no one should ever be written off. Every emotion expressed is valid, be it
anger, apathy or joy.
Finally, it is important that we all
get educated in this matter since it can happen to the better of us, we are not
immune. Actively listen to one another and exercise patience.
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